Insanity and Egotism
by Kunoichi-chan
Summary: YAOI! Bakura/Malik. Insanity and egotism, starring everyone's favorite villainous duo. Our boys are up to no good... again. Will they succeed in collecting all the millenium items?
1. Target 1: Isis

Here it is, "Insanity and Egotism." Perfect for Malik and Bakura, ne? Part of my WUI series, Writing Under the Influence. I really wanted to do a fic with Bakura, Malik, and Shadi. More so, Shadi, because he's really left out in the fanfiction world. Poor Shadi -huggles him- He's a cute little Egyptian, too! Shadi's not in it, thus far, but you'll see. XD This fic has been floating around in my mind for so long, I'm just glad to get it out! I'm running out of space up in my tiny little brain. Ahem. Now, onto the ficcy goodness!  
  
Bakura was laid out with his back to the couch. He was sleeping quietly in the half lit room when he heard a soft voice call out to him. That voice became, louder and louder, but the tomb robber only wrinkled his nose at the sound. The voice let out a sigh, and thought of a last resort.  
  
"Bakura… someone's trying to steal the Ring."  
  
Malik shrieked as fists came flying and he quickly ducked. Bakura snapped and nearly fell off the couch from shock. Realizing no one was there; Bakura stared at his hands in confusion.  
  
"I just wanted to get you up, Bakura…"  
  
Malik eyed him just over the edge of that couch, and looked down at the now tangled up dark spirit.  
  
"WHAT? Couldn't you see I was enjoying myself?"  
  
Bakura was rubbing his shoulders and sighed miserably when he looked up to notice Malik raising an eyebrow.   
  
"Not that kind of dream…"  
  
"Ah…"  
  
"Now, what did you wake me for?" Bakura's question came out as more of a growl.  
  
"I wanted to know what we were doing tonight… I'm so bored."  
  
'Only he can whine and make it sound good…'  
  
"Bakura?"  
  
Bakura awakened from his thought.  
  
"Same thing we do every night, Malik, try to steal all the millennium items and take over the world."  
  
Malik squealed in delight.  
  
"Okay! I'll get the rod and my ice pick."  
  
"And I'll get my weapon of choice…"  
  
Bakura mentally snapped a picture of the beautiful Egyptian that skipped off into his room in the apartment before he sauntered off into his own. He came to a closet door, and looked around as if he were certain he was being watched. He opened the closet to reveal an assortment of weapons: knives, guns, small bombs, poison, bug spray… You name it, he had it. Bakura's eyes shined somewhat as he picked up his uzi and held it tightly as if it were his child.  
  
"Oh baby, we're going to have some fun tonight."  
  
He nuzzled it more until the golden haired Egyptian coughed from the door. Bakura turned around, stuffing the uzi under his trench coat.  
  
"You ready?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Alright, Malik, you go to Isis's and get hers, I'll go to Yami's."  
  
"What about Shadi?"  
  
The tomb robber gritted his teeth.  
  
"…We'll see how things go from there."  
  
"Gotcha."  
  
As Bakura walked behind the swaying Egyptian Boy, he couldn't help but feel his growing want for him.  
  
'I just want to throw you on the couch and-'  
  
A woman walking by covered her young child eyes, thinking that look Bakura was giving Malik could be nothing but pure sin. Bakura, noticing this, flashed a knife at the old woman.  
  
"Stare at this, granny."  
  
The old woman, crossing the street, oblivious to the speeding cars around her, smacked Bakura hard with her purse, several times. She then proceeded to cross the street again like nothing had happened. Bakura growled and gave her his favorite finger. Malik, who had been watching this spectacle, was quite amused.  
  
"Oh, you and your disrespect of the elderly."  
  
"I'm a hundred times older than that woman."  
  
Malik dismissed the response.  
  
"Are you alright? You're still rubbing your head-"  
  
'Malik… concerned?'  
  
Bakura was caught of guard when the other boy grabbed his face to examine him.  
  
'So close…'  
  
Bakura could feel his soft breath on his nose, cheeks, and… lips. When Bakura suddenly felt his breath getting shaky, he pulled away quickly from the boy. Malik gave him a puzzled look.  
  
"I'm fine! Just fine! C'mon, now, let's go."  
  
Bakura grabbed at his chest as he marched forward feeling his heart that was beating loudly, drowning out the other sounds of Domino City. Malik's lips curled into a smirk, as he followed the white haired homicidal boy.  
  
'I. Can't. Stand. This. Much. Longer!'  
  
Bakura wondered why this boy, this simple mortal, could make him feel such a way.  
  
'Is it his looks…? No, much more. He's the only one who's bothered to try and get to know me, the real me…'  
  
Bakura was lost in his own world of thought, when he heard the faint yelling of Malik.  
  
"Here we are, Bakura!"  
  
Malik was way ahead of Bakura, now, and he stood there grinning as he pointed to Isis's apartment. Bakura proceeded to hide behind a bushy area near the complex.  
  
"What? Get up," Malik said pointing next to him, "last time you left me, I ended up in the arms of a shman. "  
  
"Shman?"  
  
"She-man."  
  
"I used to love that show."  
  
"…Never mind."  
  
Malik turned around slightly, stuffing the Rod in his pocket.   
  
"We'll communicate through our millennium items."  
  
Bakura nodded.  
  
"One thing, Mr. Dark Spirit. You have to get Yami's. On my terms."  
  
Bakura wrinkled his eyebrows. He didn't like the way Malik said 'my terms,' but Bakura was nonetheless interested.  
  
"And what would those be?"  
  
"Seduce him, of course."  
  
Bakura's jaw dropped full speed on the ground.  
  
"WHAT?"  
  
"I know, I'd do it, but I'd think he'd stab me or something, that Psycho Pharaoh. You know we don't get along."  
  
"Why don't we just stab him and take the stupid puzzle?"  
  
"What's the fun in that?"  
  
Malik smirked as the tomb robber twitched at his words.  
  
"You have a sick mind, boy."  
  
Bakura said as he sat Indian style, surrounded by bushes, and on his face laid a widespread grin.  
  
"What else is new? I'll be going now. Don't run off. I'll. Hunt. You. DOWN."  
  
Bakura yawned at the boy playfully.  
  
"I wouldn't mind that…"  
  
"What?"  
  
Bakura quickly snapped from his spacey state.  
  
'Did I say that aloud? Crap, I got to watch my mouth.'  
  
"N-nothing," Bakura stammered slightly, cursing himself when he did so.  
  
Malik bowed down and stared at Bakura intently. Bakura dared to keep his eyes steady on the other boy, but his skin was just getting so hot. Malik closed his eyes and let free a gentle smile, and turned away as he swayed again over to Isis's apartment.  
  
Bakura drooled as he watched him.  
  
'How can he walk like that? Not that I care…'  
  
Bakura tilted his head slightly, to get better look.  
  
Malik knocked hard on Isis's door. Isis, opening the door, narrowed her eyes when she saw her guest.  
  
"Brother."  
  
"That would be I."  
  
"Me."  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"That would be 'me.'"  
  
"…You always had to rub it in that you got better grades."  
  
"If only you studied your hieroglyphics, brother. Well, I'm sure you didn't come here to reminisce, so what do you want? Not that I really don't know. Come here to 'steal' my tauk, again? Dear sweet Ra, Malik, give it up."  
  
Malik growled slightly.  
  
"So, are you going to let me in?"  
  
"Well, I am a little bored."  
  
Isis stepped aside as Malik walked in calmly, and sat on a stool near her kitchen table. The room was like any other basic kitchen, except for the Egyptian paintings, and the pattern of hieroglyphics near the ceiling.  
  
"Get the tauk, idiot!"  
  
Malik looked down to hear Bakura's voice calling from his rod. Malik leaned close to his pocket to reply.  
  
"I am… just give me some time."  
  
Isis, who was getting refreshments, had finished just in time to see this.  
  
"…Are you talking to your wang?"  
  
Malik gave her an 'oh please' look and said, "I'm talking to my Rod, stupid."  
  
Isis tilted her head and gave Malik a worried look.  
  
"MY. FREAKING. ROD."  
  
"Malik… that's not normal, honey. Geez, I'm talking to you about normal, but I think it's a definite time for that long awaited therapy."  
  
Malik ruffled his hair in frustration as he heard a chuckle from his pocket.  
  
"Would you shut the heck up?" Malik screamed at his pants.  
  
Isis backed away slowly, looking for her mace.  
  
'Knew I shouldn't have let him in, why, Isis, why did you?'  
  
"What's it's name, Malik? Mr. Pokey? Magic Stick? Horsie?"  
  
Bakura roared with laughter taking his chance to tease the boy.  
  
"UGH!"  
  
Malik grabbed his millennium rod from his pocket and proceeding going on a psychotic rampage breaking things throughout Isis's apartment. He barged into Isis's bedroom, thrusting the rod into her closet door.  
  
'While I'm on my little psychotic rampage, I'll find out what's in here! She keeps the darn thing looked all the time…'  
  
Malik flashed his 100-watt grin as he broke down the door. All he could do was gasp in horror at the sight inside. It was a complete shrine… to Shadi.  
  
'Oh no… he found it!'  
  
Isis started to back away from the doorway as Malik turned around with to stare boldly into her eyes.  
  
"Malik, it's not what you think-"  
  
"Don't try that with me."  
  
"You have to admit, Shadi's awfully sexy."  
  
Malik raised an eyebrow.  
  
"And why would you think I would find another male 'sexy'?  
  
"Well, can you say 'flaming homosexual,' little bro?"  
  
"…Say goodbye to your little shrine."  
  
Malik raised his rod, as he felt his stomach turn looking down at the picture of Shadi in a Speedo. Isis shivered.  
  
'No! I spent years gathering all these pictures and turbans! I have to fight!'  
  
"Oh my god, Malik!"  
  
Isis, suddenly reawakened from her fear, tried to snatch the Rod from Malik. Blind in his rage, Malik hit Isis upside the head with the Rod, knocking her out. Malik blinked at his fallen sister.  
  
"Crap…" Malik knelt down to feel the thump of her pulse on her neck; taking notice the girl was only unconscious. "Oh well, work's good for me!"  
  
Malik reached down and unsnapped the tauk from Isis's neck.  
  
"I got it, Bakura!"  
  
"Good boy," came the voice from Malik's Rod.  
  
"Now, " that same old mischievous smirk found it's way to Malik's lips, "It's your turn."  
  
Bakura felt a little uneasy at the tone in Malik's voice, he knew he was going to regret this.  
  
"No."  
  
"Bull, Bakura!! I got the freaking tauk now you get with Yami."  
  
Bakura didn't reply.  
  
"You so owe me, especially because of your teasing."  
  
"I was hoping you would have forgotten."  
  
"My attention span is NOT that short, Bakura-Oh crap, the Rod is chipped! You made me chip it, idiot!"  
  
Bakura rolled his eyes.  
  
"Get outside, I'll do it."  
  
Malik cheered and danced around the room skipping over the unconscious Isis.  
  
"Only to make you shut up."  
  
Bakura grinned. Malik smacked the rod, and Bakura suddenly clutched his head.  
  
"…You know, if this keeps up, I'd think you were trying to give me brain damage."  
  
"It's waaaaaaaaaay too late, my boy," Bakura heard this voice clearly and not through the rod, so he looked up, and saw Malik grinning down at him.  
  
"To Yami's we go?"  
  
"Fine, fine."  
  
TBC! 


	2. Target 2: Yami

Malik looked nervously at Bakura who was currently shining his Uzi as he walked just ahead of him.  
  
'He seems a little weird…'  
  
"Bakura…?"  
  
Bakura put his Uzi back in his trench coat, not noticing that several people had suddenly disappeared when he had first pulled out his gun.  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"…Did you hear Isis and I's conversation?"  
  
"About the," he snickered, "Rod?"  
  
"No… after that."  
  
"I cut off the connection after I heard you tearing up Isis's house. Awful racket."  
  
'Then that's not why… I thought he heard Isis and now he was uncomfortable. So, why is he acting so weird?'  
  
"Bakura, are you okay?"  
  
Bakura tensed a bit.  
  
"Fine, just fine. We're getting closer to the game shop."  
  
Malik, suddenly forgetting about the strangely acting Bakura, danced in front of the grumpy spirit.  
  
"YES BABY!"  
  
Bakura raised an eyebrow.  
  
"That anxious for the puzzle?"  
  
"…Yeah?"  
  
"That a question or a statement?"  
  
Bakura folded his arms.  
  
"Just, go through with the plan, eh, Bakura?"  
  
Bakura had forgotten about it. He'd rather not get close to the… Pharaoh, but he owed Malik. Poor guy knocked out his sister, she may have been such a sister, but she cared for him.  
  
'Almost as much as I do…'  
  
Bakura blushed slightly at that comment.  
  
'Crap, I'm getting soft.'  
  
Bakura threw a knife at an unsuspecting squirrel perched on a tree branch. The poor little guy came flying down.   
  
'Ah, I feel better now.'  
  
"Show time."  
  
Bakura looked up to notice that he and Malik were standing right in front of Su… So… Yugi's grandfather's game shop. Yeah.  
  
"Now, I'll be the one hiding in the bushes, and you give me a good show."  
  
Malik winked at him.  
  
"If I knew any better, I'd think you were enjoying the idea of this."  
  
'I sure am…'  
  
Malik dismissed the statement and ducked behind a few shrubs. Bakura wrinkled his eyebrows and eyed the doorbell.  
  
'What the hell am I supposed to say?'  
  
"Hi Yugi, I want to screw your dark spirit," and just as Bakura uttered those words, Yugi, clad in his usual leather-bondage-king outfit, opened the door.  
  
What surprised Bakura even more was how fast Yami suddenly appeared from the puzzle.  
  
"Why, hello there, " Yami purred.  
  
Bakura could say nothing but stare at the young Pharaoh in shock. Then, his eyes lowered to the puzzle, and he was reminded of his mission. Meanwhile, nearby, hidden in shrubs and popcorn in hand was Malik. He was currently hitting his rod repeatedly against the ground.  
  
"Damnit, I want good reception!"  
  
"What are you waiting for, step inside."  
  
Yami turned around and disappeared into the room, Bakura sauntered in after him.  
  
"You know how long it's been since I got laid?"  
  
"3,000 years?"  
  
"Exactly."  
  
"Damn."  
  
"I almost tried Anzu…"  
  
"You were desperate," Bakura choked with laughter.  
  
Yami glared at Bakura and sat on the couch, patting the cushion next to him and his eyes suddenly turned to into fire. Bakura caved in and sat down on the couch, but closer to the arm and farther away from Yami.  
  
"I don't here any 'mmphs'," hissed Bakura's Ring.  
  
Bakura smacked the Ring and was pleased to hear Malik howl in pain.  
  
"Um, are you alright?"  
  
Bakura didn't turn to face Yami, but eyed him through the corner of his eyes.  
  
"Yes, I'm a masochist, I smack myself all the time."  
  
"Really?"  
  
Yami smacked the cushion of the couch for emphasis.   
  
"Could you say that any more sleazier?"  
  
"Don't think so."  
  
Yami scooted closer to Bakura, who scooted further away.  
  
"I'd think you were going back on your word."  
  
Bakura rolled his eyes, and suddenly grabbed Yami's face pulling him into a crushing kiss. Yami pounced on Bakura and sat on him, grinning wildly down at him. He bent down and let his hands sneak up Bakura's shirt, feeling him all over, as he leaned down and nipped at Bakura's neck. As much as Bakura hated to admit it, he was actually enjoying himself. He looked down and could see the chain that held the puzzle on the back of Yami's neck. Bakura reached for Yami's shoulders and started to pull of the blue jacket of his school uniform.  
  
Yami lifted his head up from his licking and whispered hotly in Bakura's ear, "A little anxious aren't we?"  
  
Again, Bakura hated to admit, he had enjoyed that, too.  
  
"Sweet jeebus, this is better than porn!"  
  
Malik listened closely to the Rod, when suddenly it went static.  
  
"NO! Not now!"  
  
Malik banged the Rod against the ground again, when he noticed a shadow hovering over him. It was none other than Seto Kaiba.  
  
"What… exactly are you doing here, Malik?"  
  
"You know my name?"  
  
"I've heard of you from Yami."  
  
Malik laughed bitterly, "Whatever that guy said, it's a lie."  
  
"He said you were sexy and Egyptian. And here you are, hiding in the bushes looking sexy and Egyptian."  
  
Malik raised an eyebrow.  
  
'So the Pharaoh thinks I'm sexy? Hm, the guy's got some smarts.'  
  
Malik, suddenly reminded of the steamy actions going on in the game shop, snapped and thrusted his Rod toward Seto.  
  
"Once you got here my Rod went all crazy!"  
  
Seto showed off his best hentai grin, "Of course, I'm Seto Kaiba."  
  
"UGH! Not THAT Rod, and don't flatter yourself."  
  
Seto returned to his usual stoic face.  
  
"Where's Yami?"  
  
Malik looked around nervously.  
  
'Is he with the Pharaoh? I bet he's crazier than him, I sure can't let him see Bakura licking him down.'  
  
Malik suddenly lost his trail of thought when he spotted a window.  
  
'I could see great from there!'  
  
Malik bolted for the window, forgetting the tall blue eyed white coat wearing man the following him.  
  
Malik drooled at the sight of Bakura and Yami caught in strong kisses. Seto peered over his shoulder, his eyes widened in shock.  
  
"Damnit!"  
  
This suddenly let Malik know that Seto was behind him, which was a no-no.  
  
"Craaaaap."  
  
"Why… is your psychotic boyfriend making out with my-enemy? Enemy."  
  
Seto looked nervous for a brief second then returned to his usual glaring.  
  
"He's not my boyfriend," Malik tried to make it sound like a defense, but it came out with more of a distraught sigh.  
  
Seto patted him on the shoulder.  
  
"Alright… Yami's not my boyfriend… but I'd like him to be."  
  
"That was so," Malik said in between sniffles, "freaking obvious."  
  
"Yeah," whatever emotion was left in Seto had suddenly drained out of him, "So, what are you and bat-head doing here?"  
  
"Trying to take over the world," Malik, too, had made a full recovery.  
  
"Again?"  
  
Malik nodded.  
  
"I'll be back later."  
  
"You're leaving? Why?"  
  
"Because, I'll either end up being sexual harassed, physically harmed, or drugged, and I'm not in the mood," the tall bishounen walked off. Malik watched him, wondering if he could get a spiffy coat like that, then decided to continue to watch the show.  
  
Bakura then flipped his other so he was on top and he quickly pulled out his Uzi in a swift blow, crushing it against Yami's neck.  
  
Bakura smirked slightly as he bent down and blew his words into Yami's ear, "I'm going to take the puzzle, now. Try and stop me and say bye to Mr. Horsie."  
  
TBC! 


	3. Target 3: Shadi Part 1

Look, guys! I'm alive! XD I bet some of you were doubting that. Waaaaaah. I'm so sorry for being late. ^^; I thought I could keep up with this. Who knew I had a life? *hears gasps* Okay, it's not that suprising. O.o;  
  
Bakura lowered his gun and patted him with it there, for emphasis. Yami only panted and glared. Bakura raised an eyebrow and shrugged.  
  
"I'd guess I'd be kind of desperate after 3, 000 years. The difference between you and me, Yami, is the first thing I did when I was free was..."  
  
Bakura pulled lost his train of thought as he pulled the puzzle off Yami, still holding the Uzi to him as he ran out the door.  
  
Bakura turned around when he noticed the blonde Egyptian who was waiting for him eagerly. They ran quickly, to a nearby park. It was empty, it being around a cold wintry day.  
  
"So the plan went well?" Malik sat on a bench and crossed his legs.  
  
"Sure did," Bakura panted.  
  
"Was it that good?" Malik raised an eyebrow.  
  
'Yeah… and I'd like to do the same to you.'  
  
"Bakura?"  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"Shadi's turn."  
  
Bakura groaned and fell on the grass with a thump.  
  
"I take it that you're not thrilled."  
  
"You would be right."  
  
"So, what's the plan, boy?"  
  
Bakura turned to him and glared at his other, "I'm thousands of years older than you, boy."  
  
"Oh, I forgot you were touchy about your age. Don't hurt me, Grandpa," Malik raised his hands in defeat and snickered.  
  
Bakura chuckled, then suddenly, his oh so famous, 'I'm about to kick your butt' grin graced his hard features.  
  
"Crap," Malik whispered as he made a dive to get away from the homicidal spirit.  
  
Bakura grabbed the boy from behind, a firm arm around Malik's waist, and another around the his neck, making it so Bakura could rest his chin on the boy's shoulder.  
  
"You think you could escape from the King of Thieves?" Bakura resisted the urge to lick Malik's ear as his whispered his empty threat.  
  
Malik shivered, and whipered, "Let go," even though he wouldn't have minded to be in Bakura's arms forever.  
  
"Let's see, no, I don't think so," Bakura grinned as he was intoxicated by the handsome Egyptian's smell.  
  
As Malik squirmed, his hip brushed against Bakura who resisted a moan.  
  
Malik took the initiative, "Are you going somewhere with this, Bakura?"  
  
Bakura blushed slightly as he turned Malik loose. Malik blinked in confusion.  
  
"I should ask you the same."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"It's not everyday you ask your friend to screw your enemy."  
  
Malik narrowed his eyes, "What are you getting at?"  
  
"I just wanted to know… did you get some kind of kick from that?"  
  
Malik, who had his back to Bakura, turned around and eyed the boy with intensity.  
  
"Why do you care?"  
  
Bakura looked pass Malik, "I don't…"  
  
"Liar."  
  
Bakura growled at Malik, "What? Do you want me to say, 'Malik, I want you so badly! Take me!'"  
  
Bakura did a slight 'swoon' for emphasis. Malik rolled his eyes and asked the white-haired boy, again, for their next plan against Shadi.  
  
"I have a plan for them…" He whispered to Malik the plans that the audience shall not know about until it happens because the authoress is an evil wench. Muahaha.  
  
Bakura and Malik walked to a wide open space with a lot of shops.  
  
"I'm going to get at taxi," said Bakura as he waved his arms for one, but they just kept passing.  
  
Bakura growled and pulled out his knife waving it, and the taxis went by even faster.  
  
"Uh, Bakura, leave it to me."  
  
The world seemed to stop for Bakura as Malik walked out to the sidewalk, twisting and moving his body gracefully. He waves his arms and yawned, he purple top rising and showing even more of his stomach. Bakura gaped, drool starting to leak from his mouth. A taxi pulled by in a matter of milliseconds.  
  
Malik turned back at Bakura and snickered, "Close your mouth. The taxi's here."  
  
Bakura did so and glared at the pretty boy in front of him. They both slipped into the taxi, it wasn't until the taxi driver turned around to ask directions did they get a surprise.  
  
"Where to-Gah! MALIK! And," he squinted at the pale boy next to the Egyptian, "Eeeeeeevil Bakura!"  
  
Malik suddenly looked up to see none other Katsuya Jounouchi.  
  
"Jou," he spat.  
  
"Aw, and here I thought I got a hottie," Jou sighed.  
  
"Well, let's see. How many dark skinned men with blonde hair wearing jewelry are there in Japan?"  
  
Bakura snickered and Jou said, "Yeah, yeah. Now, where you headed?"  
  
"Take us to Shadi's hideout," Bakura instructed.  
  
Jou then pulled off in a rush and Malik and Bakura clutched the seat for dear life.  
  
"JOU! Slow down, idiot!" Bakura yelled.  
  
"No can do--Get the HELL out the way, Grandma!"  
  
Bakura blinked to see the same woman who had hit him repeatedly earlier right in front of the taxi.  
  
He leaned closer to Jou and shouted, "Hit her! Hit the bitch!"  
  
Malik pulled Bakura back and told him to, "Shut up!"  
  
Bakura blushed at their position. His head was in Malik's lap and whose arms were around his neck. Bakura looked up at Malik and he was glaring at Jou. Screams dashed around them, as Malik turned to the window to see a man giving him the finger.  
  
"Jou! We're here you can stop now-CRAP!"  
  
The car stopped right there, and Malik and Bakura were currently plastered to the back of the passengers seat. Jou looked back at them and sighed, "No hanky panky in the back of my taxi, eh?"  
  
Malik reached for the door and Jou grabbed his arm, "Pay up."  
  
Malik winked at Bakura who flashed his uzi.  
  
"Uh… on the house, guys," Jou let free a nervous smile.  
  
Bakura and Malik slipped out of the taxi and walked to the large gate of the ancient Egyptian museum. The gate opened and the two boys stared at each other.  
  
"So, an invite. Well, let's take it," Bakura said as he walked in.  
  
Malik shook his head and followed the dark spirit. The boys sneaked in and discovered the faintly lit museum. Bakura's Ring glowed and pointed in the darkness to the scales which glowed as well.   
  
"That was easy," Bakura snorted as he took the scales down. Suddenly an array of alarms and flashing lights were signaled.   
  
"Should've known… damnit!"  
  
Malik motioned for the white haired boy to move on.  
  
"I'll distract him, get going," Malik whispered.  
  
Bakura slipped back out through the gate in stealth proving that he was indeed the King of Thieves.  
  
"Welcome," came a soft voice, and Shadi appeared from the shadows, "I've been expecting you."  
  
Malik narrowed his eyes, "How did you know I was coming?"  
  
"I saw you walking here."  
  
Malik raised an eyebrow at him, "That it?"  
  
Shadi dismissed the question, "But I remember the tomb robber was with you. Where did he go?"  
  
Malik fidgeted and whistled. Shadi glared at him and looked around the museum, noticing the scale was gone.  
  
"He stole… He stole the scales! Damn him!"  
  
Malik changed the subject, "My sister thinks you're hot."  
  
The anger seemed to drain from Shadi and he had a lazy grin, "What?"  
  
"Yes, Shadi, a sex god, indeed," Malik hated those words and Shadi to be so close in sentence.  
  
"Well, I thought she was checking me out lately," Shadi said thoughtfully.  
  
Malik resisted the urge to make a disgusted face.  
  
"Nice try, Malik, but," the turban wearing man hardened his face, "you're plan won't work."  
  
"Uh… listen, Shadi, can't we… er, come on now, just forget this," Malik looked around nervously at the Psycho-looking Egyptian.  
  
"I think… not. Tell me where Bakura is and I won't hurt you."  
  
"No," Malik reached into his pocket and pulled out his ice pick.  
  
"Die you crazy mother--" Malik said raising it.  
  
Shadi gasped and grabbed it out of Malik's hand, "Shut your mouth. Is this the new one? How did you get it so early?"  
  
Malik gaped at Shadi who glared at him, "W-wha?"  
  
"I wanted this one! The new quick-stab model. You must have special connections to get it so early," Shadi's face hardened again as he said, "Last chance. Where's Bakura?"  
  
"Not here, idiot."  
  
Malik fell to the ground unconscious. Shadi had hit him with the handle of the ice pick.  
  
"Now, now, don't want to get the museum dirty."  
  
Shadi pulled out his ankh and held it to Malik's head, "Looks like I'll have to find out myself."  
  
Shadi found himself in a hallway, he looked around and walked to the nearest door that read, 'Fantasy.'  
  
Shadi decided to open it, and he peered in. He gaped at what he saw next. Bakura wearing nothing but boxers, chained to a wall.  
  
"Tomb robber?"  
  
Bakura raised his eyes and then hissed, "This is a figment of your imagination."  
  
Shadi laughed, "I wish I had those more often, then."  
  
Bakura growled at him, then another appeared from the shadows. Malik clad in leather and carrying a whip looked at Shadi with emotionless eyes, "You've reached the chamber of the dominatrix. What the HELL are you doing in my mind?"  
  
"Trying to find out where he is," Shadi said, poking Bakura who writhed and panted in reply, "Niiiiiice fantasies."  
  
"What was that? And stop poking him," Malik hit Shadi with the whip and held Bakura protectively.  
  
"You will tell me where Bakura is," Shadi knew Malik was about to point to the flushed one beside them, "Not him. The real, homicidal one we all know and love."  
  
Malik looked thoughtfully as he patted Bakura on the head, who growled, yet flushed in reply, "Well, Shadi, I don't know of the outside world, you'll have to go to another room."  
  
Shadi put his hand on his chin in thought, 'Probably right. I mean, all he does is dream about Bakura in here,' Shadi seemed somewhat amused by all the everyday shots of Bakura plastered across the walls.  
  
"I'll be back," Shadi turned away and left the room, eyeing a door that was not that far down the hall.  
  
It read 'Knowledge.'  
  
"I think this is the place," Shadi whispered with a smirk playing on his lips.  
He opened the door with caution, watching for any flying whips this time. He could rubbed his eyes in disbelief. Malik… sitting in a desk in the dim lit room, dressed in somewhat of a preppy student way, wearing glasses, with a book in hand. He turned to face Shadi, his face stoic and cold, "How does the evening find you?"  
  
Shadi could hold it in no longer; he roared with laughter. The intellectual Malik turned and glared at Shadi.  
  
"Do you see something amusing? Please, point it out to me."  
  
Shadi, ignoring the obvious sarcasm in his voice, asked his own question, "Oh Great Knowledgeable One," he bowed for emphasis, "Where is Bakura before I slit your throat?"  
  
Malik raised an eyebrow at him, "Let's see, you're in *my* mind and your demanding things. I think not."  
  
"We'll see."  
  
"…Really?"  
  
Malik put his book down and leaned in, not believing Shadi.  
  
Shadi waved Malik's millenium rod in his face. Malik gasped and patted himself down, he had to have it, he just had to.  
  
"I can always make him come here."  
  
TBC!  
  
The end! Huzzah! Eeeeeevil cliffhanger. D Um, okay guys, you're not imagining things, Dusk isn't updated. Why? Because I've been having *major* writing blocked-ness with that because it's my first serious ficcy, and I don't want to screw it up. =/ *sniff* Well, back to this, Jou was fun to input! =D I wanted to put him into Dusk, but gah, I just couldn't fit him in, and who wants a *normal* taxi driver? Not me! XD 


End file.
